You Know You re 60 When

ALSO BY RICHARD SMITH THE DlETER'S GUIDE TO WEIGHT LOSS DURING SEX THE BRONX DIET NEWLYWEDS' GUIDE TO SEX ON THE FIRST NIGHT IOI USES FOR AN EX-HUSBAND RICHARD SMITH'S GUIDE TO GETTING EVEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE 50 WHEN.

You Know You re 60 When

Are you “getting on in years,” or know someone who is? Thinking of changing your birth certificate to show a more favorable birth date? You may lie about your age, but your age won’t lie to you! Not sure how to tell when you’re about to reach that fun sixtieth birthday? Here are some clues: WebMD is your home page When asked, “Who’s your doctor?” you have to reply, “Which one?” An outbreak of acne makes you feel like a teenager again At your class reunion, you note with satisfaction that the captain of the football team wears a hearing aid The meadows where you sowed your wild oats are now shopping malls That empty seat on the bus has your name on it Your pharmacist greets you with “What’ll it be, pal?” Getting older is not only fun . . . it’s funny! And with You Know You’re 60 When . . ., you’ll be laughing as you go kicking and screaming over the hill, happily clutching your chest!

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